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kamaaina
Posts:2
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| 08/20/2009 1:14 AM |
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| I enjoyed listening to the Focus on the Family broadcast from July. You mentioned how husbands want to play with their wives. What about those husbands who don't want their wives to watch the game or join them in sports because they don't want to lose to a girl, or those who'd rather hang out with "the guys"/"the men"? How do you handle that type of interaction (seems kind of like a rejection/he's putting her in a box in one corner of his world), and if it really just doesn't work out and he uses those activities as his male fellowship time, what are some alternatives (since those were his form of romantic activity)? |
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Justaguy
Posts:10
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| 09/03/2009 12:01 AM |
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I don't understand when men don't want to bring their 'romantic interest' into the heart of their being to share every part of their lives. I suspect they are:
a) unwilling to 'give up' certain aspects of their lives (even if she isn't asking him to give it up)
b) not looking upon their partner with respect
c) both
If we are looking at our relationships as uni-dimensional, only there for our own gratification, unwilling to 'bare our souls' and share our most trusted secrets and treasured experiences, then we are doomed to a life that is void of the rich blessings God intended for married life.
I admire how you're not going to give up. You should be commended for looking for alternatives. My suggestion? Don't simply ask to be involved in what he's already doing, instigate some of your own activities. Buy two tickets for both of you to go see a game together, plan a quiet picnic in the park, but bring along some sports supplies. Ask him to teach you more of the game, it makes him feel good about himself. If you're a competitive person, try to resist the temptation to engage him in a contest for now. Wait until he's more comfortable with you in this part of his world, then start a bit of playful banter. With patience, I hope he would someday give his buddies the cold shoulder to watch the game with you. But be careful, don't attempt to replace his male friends. Most guys need to have some 'male bonding' time. |
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JoeMS
Posts:38
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| 11/27/2009 11:23 PM |
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"...'husbands want to play with their wives'.
What about those husbands who don't want their wives to watch the game or join them in sports because they don't want to lose to a girl, or those who'd rather hang out with "the guys"..."
The "play" does not have to be competitive. I prefer non-competitive "play". I especially like "cooperative" play, such as tossing a frisbe (I'm dating myself  ).
There will be times when a guy just wants to spend time with other guys. |
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